He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
