There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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