quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
