I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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