I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize