I think my vagina is haunted
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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