Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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