the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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