It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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