I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
