my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
