So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
