yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
