Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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