why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's never too late to be topless.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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