I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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