now i know why i became what i already was.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
