Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
