When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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