so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
