cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
