I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
