i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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