Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
