Sponge bath it is.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
