I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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