I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
pop tarts are not kleenex
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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