know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
