its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
