She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
