he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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