Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
