i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
