I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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