Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize