Don't you send me to vm
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize