i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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