he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
