She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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