She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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