She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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