highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize
