just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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