omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
