i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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