I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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