how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
