I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
