You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
