If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
