and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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