Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize