i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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