They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
