Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
