just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
