I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
