he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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