Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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