It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Are my feet made of real feet?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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