So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
