what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
