I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
