I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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