Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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