Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
