the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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