What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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