I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
