I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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