i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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