ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just had sex bonerless
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
