At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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