My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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