one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
