What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
